Sex, Love and Astral Traveling Part 8

If this were a song I would title it as “Disconnection Complete” But this isn’t a song. Instead it’s my feelings of a Post from ME to YOU.

Disconnection from the past

How did I know it would last

Now I’m laying in the foundation of my youth

To tell you the truth

Was undeniably few

I can know help

but to embrace

This hearts point of view

To be on standby

Was undeniably few

Pay attention to the Lord

Stop and Think before you Act

the exposure

was undeniably few

Pay attention to who God is

The feeling of being safe

In knowing the disappearance of God’s love

Was my own

How I’ve felt about others who have pained me

Were actually just how I felt about the Lord’s visions that got me confused

So figure it out

The love within youth

was undeniably few

Pay attention to who God is

Is this you? Could it be true?

Yes this is God

The masculine sign of God

Please remove your air pods so I can speak to you

Just Breathe

Breathe

Inhale

Exhale

Be in touch with you

Yes

In touch with you

Be in-sync

with your truth

“This I promise you” by NSYNC

I don’t know

Just what to say

But mention on this day

This is me

Your best friend

Your lover

Your future wife

Your baby momma to be

Whatever you want to call me

That’s exactly what I’ll be for you

Because you were all mine
And we were just fine

Through the ups and downs

I can’t deny

This is me

For you always and forever

Like Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell

Distance doesn’t matter

Because

“Ain’t no mountain high

Ain’t no Valley too low”

I just need you to call me

And I’ll be there in a hurry

Because I love you so much

None can deny you

This heart is for you

I hear God more clearly when I’m high

It feels like a “Sextasy” story like Swae Lee’s Single

That beat is so dope

On that beta wave frequency

Once Upon a time you asked me to help you heal

The words could not come out of your mouth

Instead your dick did

And I know you love this pussy

Like a Rae of Sunshine

Maybe that can be our first born’s name

Rae

Except we aren’t that “Close” anymore

So Do you still need to breathe?

I do need you

And I want you too

Drake say’s “I’m just a human being that’s willing to show you I am human.”

Except I heard that on an interview

NOT a LYRIC

with Evan Carmichael’s channel

Got the top 10 Success tips

Call me a creative.

It’s how I heal through expression

through my own

written words

and the music

I listen

I know you was creeping on the low

Takes a player to know a player

The difference is

I am not on the field

In fact,

I am off the dancer’s Playground too

Because I cannot play tag with you

I can only tell you that I love you

This ones for you

Show Peace

And never break a promise

Jagged Edge “Promise”

A pinky promise and a

I love you too

I am unsure if what I have just channeled is my wedding playlist

But I know that I have love for you

And I am

sure you think of me

I just pray you read this Blog

I hope and pray to God

That I find the courage

to say I promise to keep you here

Because Loyalty is a knock down the door

And I wanna freak you

Because you are so damn fine

Moving onto Jodeci “Freek’n You”

Every time I close my eyes

I wake up feelin a bit randy

I cannot get you out of mind

Sexin you is all I see

I would give anything

Just to make you understand

I don’t give a damn about nothing else

Making love to you is what I need

Can’t get you out of my mind

Blog

DM or Post

Text or Timeline

This has been all for you baby

I know you like this

Your aura shines

I know you have eyes for me

You like what i look like from behind

It’s all for you

What Do I have to do? Or say?

To make you understand

You’re all I see in my minds eye

Every night and every day

Hold on

I need some water

You know that Henny

Gets me loose

And I cannot stop

thinking of you

This isn’t about 4, 3 or 2

I don’t wanna attend the party next door

You better “recognize” when ICU

Code Grey

Combative on the 5th floor

Is this really magic?

Or Is it just love?

Every day and night

I love your body from head to toe

I dance in my room and imagine you there

On the right side of the bed

Wishing on a star

SELENA “Dreaming of You”

Just let me know when you get off the playground

All the other females

I don’t see it as a competition anymore

It’s apart of the journey

Of you growing into a man

Because your real Vet is here

She’s done playing

Pretty and sweet

I can be emotional

And I know how to keep it classy in Santa Monica

Or if You want it hard?

I’ll drive right up to Calabasas

Better yet

Let’s make it wet

You can name it loyalty

Cuz’ that’s what I can do for you

Memories on the 101

“Boo’d Up” in Summer 18

While They Blew up your phone

Rushing to get home

You just gotta lock it down

Throw the towel on them crazy exes

The hoes & bitches

You know who else crosses your mind

That isn’t me

Who hurt you?

I don’t wanna know

I just wanna show you

how I can love you more every day

Sometimes I wonder who is watching my Instagram Story

And realize I don’t care about my next post

I just hope you hear this and I get the call from you

Because who wouldn’t call the Woman that just poured her whole heart online to him to hear

Let them wonder who it is

It is what it is

I’m ready when you are

Because this is a promise

I know you was creeping on the low

Takes a player to know a player

The difference between us

I am not on a field

In fact, I am off the dance floor of Playground too

Because I cannot play two tags with you

I can only tell you that I love you

This ones for you

Show Peace

And never break a promise

Maybe when I’m in your arms you can tell me you love me too

Listen to this

November 24, 2018

I knew you were the one when I recorded myself speaking my feelings out to you

That I never got a chance to express to you

Click Play on “Unconditional Love”

I still love you and I am still in San Diego

If there’s anyway to move up to LA

I have done it

I went and worked for the Cannabis Industry

Thinking that if I had access to more Flowers

We could be together

But I was chasing money

And I didn’t allow my truth to be revealed

You’ve always been my Plan A

Even when Plan B failed

Seeing you run into Rite Aide

Just because you knew if I would’ve gotten pregnant at the wrong time

My dreams wouldn’t catch up to me

But the Truth is

The DREAM already chose me

And Well

I accept it

I know you was creeping on the low

Takes a player to know a player

The difference between us is I am not on a field

In fact, I am off the dance floor of Playground too

Because I cannot play tag three times with you

I can only tell you that I love you

This ones for you

Show Peace

And never break a promise

Can you help me understand why I feel like this?

Because if you don’t feel the same

Well at least

Let me make this into a poem

or dedication playlist from me to you

You can throw the pool toys out the window

For all I care

The birthday gifts never worked

Neither did the tests of the gram

I am still going to love you

Let me know when you wanna sit at the table and eat together

Because I am done eating alone

Are you?

This isn’t a Love Galore with SZA or Travis Scott On Astroworld

I cannot deny

I’m not into raging

Sometimes I have cried over spilled milk

Especially when I saw her shoes

On the Highlights

That’s what happens when you love a guy who doesn’t know

I love him on the low

That’s what I get for calling it

A Friendship with benefits

That straps up with Trojan and unwraps it for me

I guess I assumed

Did I really miss my shot?

I just gotta know the truth

The real

So do you love me too?

You should listen to “Lady in a Glass Dress (Interlude)”

I’d sing it myself but this isn’t 3 years ago

And I am not a Singer anymore

Save it for the orchestra

Now I hear the babies screaming

Not sure if it’s a sign

But I know that I would love to be your baby momma

Your Wife and Your Best Friend

I just be in my zone

Let’s make it our throne

Woah

This is a lot of words

I gotta stop now before time runs out on the clock

I gotta go to bed

I’ll see you in our world

Because that’s what matters now

I’ve always known

The love of my life

Is in my future

Visions of a baby

My Baby

Boy

I see him now

He has my eyes

I’ve always been a Visionary

Meditation just makes it clear

He has my eyes

I astral traveled to the future

And we are in the stadium stands

Watching your behind

Listening to him say

He wants to be just like his Mother when he grows up

a Writer

Although you know

He looks up and down on you

I know you’ll be an amazing Father

Better luck with mine

We got a legacy in the building

Can you guess his name?

I don’t think you’re ready for this

But he will be a Junior

Just like mine

I pray to God every day

Am I really in love with him

GOD You have to help me understand

That I’m not going crazy

This is not a debate

Nor a Q & A

I cannot seem to complete

Plan A

Because Plan B keeps failing me

Is it really possible to fall in love twice?

I should probably Google this

Loyalty

But I like my definition better

Being Loyal is when times get tough and you don’t give up

You keep pushing though

For the same person you’ve always loved

Keep holding onto the grace

Faith shows up in time

I’m not living out of my suitcase anymore

Or sleeping under Momma’s roof

That I guarantee

I’ll be moving into my new place

with my Maserati

I finally let go the Lexus

Is this what you wanted?

Was me to just find my own spot?

SO I could prove to you I could do it alone?

Well now we can be together right?

My ego keeps

Guessing

again and again

So loud in my mind

But my heart is Unconditional

And my stubbornness might annoy you

But I promise to suck it up

To keep you happy when you’re upset

I got you for life

Might as well make it adventurous

Give you time to miss it

Never get to comfortable

I’m always going to want you

I still keep imagining you here with me

Or maybe

I’m there with you

I think I found a place for you and me

A place

Where our worlds can coalesce

In a Kaleidoscope Dream

Just let me

”Adorn You”

Please baby like Miguel

I know that you Adore Me

I know you’ll protect me

I know I am special

Even better we will set boundaries

The healthy ones

The ones where we both have an understanding

Of the roles we can play all night

You know

When we look up at the sky

That shooting star is meant from me to you

And when I look at the moon it’s you I’ll be seeing

At Hollywood Hookah

I’m on the way

Walking from the parking structure

A mile away

The moment I walked up to you

I knew it was you

Because it started in Hollywood

And ended up in your bed

Probably the best stair case walk up to your secret hiding place

The steps have been worth the wait

Now I imagine myself letting you hit from behind

Because that’s what I do

Loyalty to you

And your my number one

Always I can say

I think I found the “G” in me

You like it when I make that face

I just have to say I’m sorry

I hope that this is enough

To make it up

I don’t do well with

The apologies

I’m sorry I was Born in 88

But I promise I can wind my hips and dance for you

At another chance

I hope it’s not too late

Missing more than just your body

Sounding Like Justin Bieber

“Sorry”

I’m sorry

I guess I’ll take the blame

I suppose I have always spoken through music

Interesting right

So my hands are pretty tired now from the typing

And my mind is made up

I love you

Where are you now?

Every night I am up like Selena Wishing on a Star

Maybe we can switch things up

Where do you want it next? In the car or the shower?

Imagining me in that bathroom tub, the Jacuzzi or the bathroom stall?

Maybe we can be like Aaliyah and “Rock the Boat” in the sand’s view from my back door

I’m sorry I left you like Trey Songz

on “Yo Side of the Bed”

It’s not the same

Is it?

Feeling lonely again?

I’ll be there stroking it for you after work.

Always and forever

These moments with you

Are like a dream That can come true

And I know tomorrow things will always be authentic and true

The Life of love that won’t ever change

Love me your own special way

With a smile

Let’s take our time

Tell me you really care

I

know

I

love

you

You are the ONE

I still roll my eyes of the thought

But

My Heart cannot help it

I see you baby I see you

That you’ve gone through so much

I just hope you can accept this apology

I don’t know how else to tell you

I love you

The only way I have found myself to express

Is through music

Through lyrics

Through my words

Through the DMs

I just can’t chase you

And I don’t want you to chase me

I just want you to Trust

TRUST

TRUST

Because I am no plain Jane

But I need you to trust me

When all these Dudes want me and try to tempt me

I’ll be your nerd

Inside the house waiting to put it down after the games and after I make you dinner with your henny wings

You see the attention I get I know you get intimidated

But Guess What?

You’re my man

So I need you to stand straight and let these guys know

that A REAL MAN has stepped in

I’ll be on Ballerina Tip Toes
Eff the Bonnie & Clyde sh*t

I wanna be like Quavo & Saweetie

Or maybe it’s

I’m Sorry

I had you Hard as a Rock

Feeling you through your jeans

In back of the Uber on the way to Santa Monica

And I know you were upset on the way back to the crib

You can be in those feelings You have a Heart

But I have a confession

I’m “Emotional”

I have to give that shout out to Sis though

You know us Cali Breeds SHINE

We stay Focused on our Success

and sometimes we can be ANTI Social

I know this man from Decatur, Georgia and he is mine

You chicks can’t have him

That is MINE

Ahhhhhhhhh, YUP

So, let’s stop listening to Posty

And stop ”Circling” around our feelings

Because We both don’t wanna hurt anymore

We allowed our exes to put that pain in our hearts

It’s time to heal babe

No More of that “Fall Apart”

And…

It’s not the “Seasons”

Changing in poetry

The synergy in 6lack & Khalid

Was to show you that the Summer games are over

I just want to be a part of all your Springs, Summers, Falls & Winters

Can you consider this as proving it?

I know I made mistakes

But so have you

Can we just move away from the past?

And look towards a future together?

We can’t go “Nowhere” if we deny the Future

I hope this Blog isn’t me loosing

My COMPOSURE

Instead can you teach me how to love you?

I know you’re romantic

Romance reflects during closed doors

In our world

When I am holding you in my arms, while I play with your braids

I let my crew get in my head and

I know your crew did too

If we let the Crew’s get in our heads

Just know

They’re just Jealous of US

So please if you can tell the boys to hush

I’ll tell my girls to be on the way

You just gotta make the call baby

So you still on your shit? I know the bitches are bad.

But I don’t even wanna mistake your Hot Boy tendencies

For Fuck Boy Tendencies

Must be all that Wiz in your Brain making things cloudy

I still love you though

I’ll make my hair Straight, curly or wavy

Blonde or Brunette

Braids or nah

Which one you want? I got it for you

Just Don’t hold back the years

What exactly do you even know about me anyway?

I can share that my favorite movies are:

“Love & Basketball”

and

“Remember the Titans”

And my favorite color is:

ROYAL PURPLE

DO YOU

Until God crosses out paths again

And if God shows me it’s you’re number than I’ll know

That WE didn’t chose the Dream

THE DREAM CHOSE US

Like a Deja vu

God shows you the truth

Even if hurts

Can you remember now what I said?

“What if what you’ve been searching for is right in front of your face.

But you’re so busy looking for it in other places

That you’re too blinded

Of

What

Is

Sitting right in front of

YOUR FACE.”

-Lizbeth R. Esguerra

I will read this everyday

until I find the COURAGE & CONFIDENCE to

record myself on my iPhone

and post it on my Instagram story timeline and page

As a Love Post from

Me to You

I just saw a shooting star

and the number’s 888

Is that a sign?

Is the disconnection really complete?

Or should I stay down?

Liz Esguerra