Sex, Love and Astral Traveling Part 3

I have nothing to lose, because I already lost it all.

I still have my sanity.

I still have a breathe of life.

I still have my physical body.

I have a soul.

I have my health.

My heart.

My safety.

My patience.

My voice.

And my words I write down.

It’s very weird, as these thoughts were crossing my mind. A song keeps replaying in my mind.

“I Know”

Post Malone

The beginning of the beat sounds like a buzzing bee.

Let’s review the lyrics:

“Our love will never be another
You're just a devil undercover (undercover)
Found you when you were in the gutter (in the gutter)
Shit was sweet until I was a sucker, shout out Jonas Brothers
I learned more than I cared to discover (discover)
Don't you know that I'm more than a come up? (Come up)
You act up and then act like it's nothin' (nothin')
Sold your soul, you stone cold, you a stunner (stunner)

Every time you left (left), shit was never right (right)
In another bed (bed) every single night (night)
Had it to a science (science), you were so precise ('cise)
See it in your eyes (eyes), saw you in the light (light)
Somehow, mami, I still want you
Listen to me, don't drive away (don't drive away)
Kill me softly, your hold on me is (ooh)
Somethin' I can't explain

I know you could never be my bitch (yeah)
Shit could never be like this (ohh)
I know, stop thinkin' you're in my plans (plans)
Hunnid times you blew another chance (chance)
I know you were gettin' down on the low (down the low)
Then runnin' back to me in the morning (in the morning)
I know shit could never be like this
You could never be my bitch
No, no

Our love will never be another (uh)
You're just a devil undercover (undercover)
Found you when you were in the gutter (in the gutter)
Shit was sweet until I was a sucker ('til I was a sucker, yeah)
Rather be single for life (single for life, rather be single)
Than be fuckin' with you
I ain't rollin' the dice, no (I ain't rollin' the dice)
I ain't playin' to lose (no)

Every time you left, shit was never right (no)
In another bed (bed) every single night (oh)
Had it to a science, you were so precise (yeah)
See it in your eyes, saw you in the light (light)
Somehow, mami, I still want you (want you)
Listen to me, don't drive away (don't drive away)
Kill me softly, your hold on me is
Somethin' I can't explain

I know you could never be my bitch (be my bitch)
Shit could never be like this (be like this)
I know, stop thinkin' you're in my plans (plans)
Hunnid times you blew another chance (blew another chance)
I know you were gettin' down on the low (down on the low)
Then runnin' back to me in the morning
I know shit could never be like this (be like this)
You could never be my bitch
No, no

Be my bitch
It could never be like this
Shit could never be like this
It could never be like this”

Source: Musixmatch

How is it that someone who is trying to heal from pain suppose to heal through these lyrics?

Let’s sit with this song for a second.

Imagine the infinity sign.

It’s a symbol that goes back and forth in a pattern. Repeating patterns. Sounds like this song is helping me release what I experienced in my last serious relationship.

I use to be apart of a toxic pattern. Until one night, I realized, I had been brainwashed. I had been repeating patterns for 7 years with the same person. A man who could not even be a man. Before I go into specific details about this 7 year relationship. I need to speak about how I GOT OUT of the toxic relationship. And how getting back into Cannabis actually saved my life.

Which leads me to Kushy Punch

I remember on July 5, 2017. I took an edible, that one of my customers gave to me. I remember I was working Lyft & Uber part time. I took my customer to a dispensary and was sharing how my intuition kept telling me to take cannabis in an edible format. Well, my customer promised to provide a special edible in return for not charging them for their uber ride. So, I said okay.

Has anyone ever heard of having an “ayahuasca experience” ?

Well Kushy Punch Sativa affected my body so transparently it was an the ultimate trip.

My intentions were not to get high. But to meditate and tap into my “higher self.” Not the High/stoned self. To find my actual truth of who I am, what I am meant to do with my life. “My best self.” I was seeking my life purpose, because I felt so lost at the time. Not only did I get my brain reprogrammed by the plant. It actually saved my life. I will get into details after I show you what “ayahuasca” means.

Per Google this is what an Ayahuasca experience is: The effects are dose-dependent, and the trip can last 2–6 hours ( 4 ). Those who take Ayahuasca can experience symptoms like vomiting, diarrhea, feelings of euphoria, strong visual and auditory hallucinations, mind-altering psychedelic effects, fear, and paranoia.

I resonate with the following: feelings of euphoria, strong visual and auditory hallucinations, mind-altering psychedelic effects, fear, and paranoia.

Due to Kushy Punch’s formula back than I did not know what to expect. But to just meditate and hope to receive answers during meditation. It took about 45min to an hour for the edible to immediately enhance my senses.

I turned on meditative music. Went outside on my balcony at Alder Apartments in Northridge and began my meditation journey, and steps into enlightenment.

After meditating for 15 minutes, I could feel the affects of Kushy Punch. My senses were heightened, and I felt connected to all the plants around me. I felt the energy in my body, and in my hands. I felt my power. It was a euphoric feeling. A feeling of when you make love or have sex with a person but your body moves to the motions of the Universe. Being that I have been a dancer my entire life. I immediately tapped into dancing. I remember when I began to feel this sensation. I began to visualize the level one Reiki symbol to set protective boundaries around my mind, body and spirit. As soon as I did that. I felt an immersed power within my hands. It was as if I was a transformer or avatar. With a strong healing energetic power in my hands. The thoughts running through my mind were, “You are a healer.”

I began to cry.

“But why. Why am I healer God?! Why me?! I am not even healed!?”

Still sobbing and crying.

My intuitive voice: “Well than, heal yourself. Ground up!”

If you are a spiritualist, you know what that means. It means. Begin grounding yourself in your energy.

So, I said okay. And I started to place my powerful hands, on my Chakras one by one. I began with the feet, knees, hips, etc. I than began to cleanse my aura. What was super unique though, when I was placing different hand motions and movements, I was moving like a dancer does. I was dancing with the energy, and creating different dance movements. It was beautiful.

After, I channeled my truth and finished my cleansing session. I remember sitting down and looking to the right at the person next me. My ex M.A.G. and sharing.

Me: “Sorry, I can’t heal you.”

He didn’t like that answer. But quite frankly, for years, I had been attempting to heal him by supporting him financially and physically. I do not discredit what we learned together which was spirituality. But we both had outgrown each other. And it was time to move on. I could not sit there anymore and say I was happy. Because I was not. I was fed up with being the only person in the relationship financially supporting the person.

I was a toxic individual from 2011-2017. I always had an attitude, my form of communication was yelling not speaking. I was crying everyday from him cheating, all the lies, his late nights coming home after the club. 3 am turned into 5am, 5am turned into 8am and 9am. We lived together for all those years. Oh, i was an emotional mess.

I began to heal from this relationship July 6, 2017. After my Kushy Punch trip. I was told by Paramedics and Nursing staff from the Northridge ER that I had Overdosed.


Off weed…

Come on people.

Kushy Punch reprogrammed my mind frame and you’re telling me I OD. I don’t think so. So, how did my trip end with me being in the hospital with my mother, father and sister and my ex in the same room?

Well, let’s just say.

After I came back in the house that night of July 5, 2017 from the balcony. My ex gave me more of the edible. My body could not handle anymore of it. I blacked out. I somehow was in my bathroom. I was in the tub. I remember looking down at my body. And my soul was no longer in control of my body. I remember I was spinning and slowly rising out my physical body. Until I could see the top of my head. At that moment, I knew I was Out of Body but also experiencing what people tend to say: “Near Death Experiences.” I remember praying the Lord’s Prayer and asking God for forgiveness.

If I was dying in that moment. I remember thinking the following:

“I didn’t have a conversation with a stranger today.

I didn’t call my parents to tell them thank you and I love them.

I didn’t kiss my baby sister on her cheek the last time I saw her. She will always be my baby girl.

I didn’t dance in the dance studio.

Oh my gosh, I haven’t even spoken with other people in years. I have been locked in a bubble where the only friend I had was my boyfriend at the time.

If I die right now I would go down in history as a another tragic event of a girl who dies from taking drugs.”

As soon As I changed my thinking, I began to pray the following:

“Dear God, if you hear me. Well obviously you hear me. I want to say thank you for allowing me to experience this. But I want to apologize for not living with purpose. Please God if you take me back, I promise I will share this experience with others. Please God just take me back. I am so so sorry for not being grateful for the breathe of life. Please God help me have control of my body again. Please.”

After I was done with my prayer, I remember spinning right back inside of my physical body. I had regained consciousness again of my physical body.

I remember thinking:
”Oh shit, am I going crazy. WTF is going on. Am I crazy. Oh my God are we crazy?!”

As I open the curtain and grab a towel. I see my ex lying on the floor. He’s pretty much sobbing, he was having his own experience. I am not sure what he was going through. But the next few moments were crucial on how our life would play out.

We felt a dark immerse energy over take our minds, trying to convince us to record ourselves having sex and post it online to reach fame. Guess again Satan. We knew better. So we began to pray “The Lords Prayer.”

I kept trying to fall asleep but due to the affects of the Sativa my mind was wide awake. I felt the time on the clock wasn’t moving. Things kept repeating and I was scared. Well, things were repeating alright. And than my ex did something that I will never forget. He called my parents. So, I called his brother.

Wrong idea. SMH

My ex ended up having a conversation with my parents about what happened. I spoke with my little sister and so did my ex. She ended up calling 911 and the paramedics were knocking on my apartment door 20 mins after the call. I was so scared that I was left alone. My ex walked out the door to let the firemen and paramedics inside the apartment complex from the back gate. So as soon as my ex walked out, I locked the door right behind him. I ran into my room and melted in my room, filled with paranoia. The Paramedics were knocking on the front door to open the door. But I would not let them in. So, they broke into the apartment through my bedroom window. They unlocked my door and put me in a gurney. I remember I was in my bath robe. But I was naked underneath.

I was so upset that my ex had called 911.

Me: “WHY THE FCK would you tell my family and call 911.”

So here I was naked.

Being carried by men into an ambulance.

I remember my bathrobe slipping off my right shoulder.

And pop

Titty out

I literally, flashed all these damn men my right breast.

All because I was so out of it.

Of course everyone around me stops their conversations, and reporting and look at me.


Men are so visual.

I was so embarrassed.

I remember the sirens going off, and waking in and out of my sleep, as I laid in the back of the ambulance.

I remember, asking the paramedic. “Did I die?”

"Paramedic: “No ma’am you did not die. Not today at least.”

Me: “Where am I?”

Sirens continue going off.

Me: “Where are we going? Did I die?”

Paramedic annoyed: “No ma’am you are alive.”


I remember waking up in a hospital room, connected to an IV. Seeing dark stares from my Mother and Father. As my little sister stood there crying.

Oh Shit, what’s going on.


SO, what did I learn from this situation? And why did I say the edible Kushy Punch saved my life?

Well, I was impacted to the point where I felt my out of body experience took a toll on my perspective upon life. I was suppose to experience the positive and negative impacts from the plant. My intentions were a trip right. Well, I got my trip.

I also leaned that I am not a fan of Sativa. And for someone who was away from the flower for 5 years. Well, I was not well informed with what I was doing.

I no longer live in the Valley at Alder Apartments. After my trip the only way to get rid of my ex was to go completely broke. Where I had no money, and he had to man up and start paying bills. We ended up losing the apartment, my ex moved to Arizona. I moved back to San Diego after I got in a car accident with my Lexus IS 250 F Sport 2015.


Years passed, and I never touched Kushy Punch. I had grown a strong resentment towards the brand. Until, this year 2019, I started working in the Cannabis industry. I finally had the opportunity to face my fear with the brand. I was seeking a product that would help with anxiety. During the time I was working with The Original Jack Herer (Sativa), and sometimes attending cannabis events were overwhelming. Especially when a lot of smoke is in the air. So, a few months ago I went to THE PLANT in Woodland Hills and got reeducated on CBD and edibles. The Sales BudTender in the store front was well informed with his store’s products.

He educated me with facing my fear of Kushy Punch. That the CBD format will help with the anxiety and stress. So, I took the CBD from Kushy Punch and was exceptionally impressed with results.

No paranoia.

No stresses.

No out of body.

No OD.


CBD!!! I love it! It’s the perfect medicine! I faced my fear with Kushy Punch and realized that if I ever take an edible. I NEED TO MICRODOSE. Duh!

No psycho active affects with CBD.

CBD Kushy Punch places a great release of stress!

Thank you to the creators like Dan (from Kream of the Crop) who was apart of the team 2 years ago. The Universe/God/Source has a funny way of doing things. I shared my story to Dan and I actually said thank you to him for helping save my life. If it were for that day on 7/5/2017. I probably still would have been stuck with a toxic pattern relationship! Thank goodness for Kushy Punch!

To all the current Kushy Punch employees. You all bring the vision of the company alive.

I am super happy to have finally tapped into the best version of my self. And feeling back to life!

Sending all my Cannabis Enthusiast Lots of Love! Go Get Kushy Punch at your local retail store fronts! It’s everywhere!

Appreciate all of you so very much!

Random share. But when I had nothing, I remember my friend and I were in Van Nuys. I had just gotten evicted. And even at my lowest, I manifest Post Malone the year of 2017. I took a picture with him. It was a bizarre experience but I saw him at Costco in Van Nuys. I wish back than I would have had the courage to share with him what I was going through. He was with his Mother buying her groceries, and I did not want to take up his time. But I hope to one day speak to him or maybe come up with a song for the crazy ex.

Liz Esguerra